July 2011
31 posts
the red umbrella
overcast skies lead to downcast eyes,
the rhinestones fall around me
but i only see a glimmer of a brilliant flame
high above my head:
a scarlet dot in a monochrome metallic sea.
unfurled
these days my lungs feel too big for my chest
and my heart thumps too softly to have a pulse.
with dying embers in my passion,
i blow carefully to tend the glow
that once wasn’t so timid.
caviar
consider it dead and gone when i leave you be -
the unheard calls and messages that come too late
flash on my screen but i turn my head, refuse to see.
it’s not easy to turn away from you,
your scent, your gaze, your touch,
but it is something that i have to do.
one day.
ahuh.
today just feels like a day
that i can just sit back
put my feet up
and stare at the ceiling
and think about
anything, everything
doing all the things
that i feel like
maybe put on heels
just for the hell of it
or fool around with makeup
play dress up
all that good stuff.
nobody’s up at 7am.
what more can i say?
today i took the time
to flip through a few forgotten photographs
and i saw something
that took my breath away.
your smile so genuine,
your eyes misted over with adoration,
line of sight to her in your arms.
“sharpie fine point permanent marker :]”
and so the other half dies with muffled cries
this is the third night that i went to bed
with tears in my hair
and a headphone in my ear
listening to love songs,
trying to feel again.
where did you go?
to fall in looooooooveeeee :D
perhaps you understand.
bookcases to the sky
the raindrops fall to cover
the streaks on my face.
i am grateful for nature’s cover:
the passerbys dont stop and stare,
my facade weaers on.
out of the gloomy skies comes
a scaffold that stops the million splatters
and streams
to leave only the twin marks coursing down my cheeks.
and now,
they double take.
turning tables
at night when my tears glisten in the moonlight,
i shiver ever so slightly in the thin sheet
that tangles me, traps me, holds me fast to reality.
tree
he must be tall with captivating eyes,
strong arms to catch me when i fall
hard for him, to lay me onto his
solid chest to hear his gentle beat of life.
but most of all, behind the windows to his soul,
i need something to respond with
resonate with
let go
second
three hundred and sixty five days rewind
and i find myself an insecure creature.
one more time it turns,
and i see through the eyes of the surrendered girl.
fast forward a hundred and four weeks
to today to glance at someone
who is bursting to get out of the old mold
into who i am now.
challenge me
when it is just me, myself and i,
we collide in our attempt to grasp
the graphite and clay
to pencil in the image
on my table top.
sometimes an eye,
a lip,
maybe a sketch
of that bottle on the windowsill,
there.
lock and key
we’re a mix of all the lethal ones,
a massive ball of fuel that keeps on going:
combining to create a hellish demon
that becomes what we are.
if we let it be that way
under
bright eyes towards the future
and time methodically ticks
to meet that secret side.
your question still haunts me,
your statement echos.
i will confess
my answer.
reason
anguish leaks from my veins
to create the bruise that spreads
from my head to my toes,
fueling my muscles to push hard
away from it all.
mirror.
look into my eyes and you’ll see
how dead and hollow i am now.
i once felt the little signals
that the universe threw at me.
i once saw the brilliance
of the light above.
but now i am deaf to them,
they’re background noises.
find me
i feel the loneliness licking my sides
as the pit burns hotter
and it rises above my head
leaving me with burns
that crisscross all over my skin
to mark me for what i’ve done.
poison paradise
it leaves me with no escape:
the sweet scent, my drug.
i come back again and again to shape
my lips around my addiction.
kiss
happybirthdaytome7.12.11<3
shhhh ;]
and so she breathes
two girls sat together on the stone
reading out loud, alone.
she had hair down to her knees,
the other, with no flutter in the breeze.
her voice painted a bright world for the other to see,
a sight that the second knew would never be
visible.
needles
the silence rings loudly in my ears
and the stink of clean perforates my nostrils.
time stays still.
love of mine
tonight, my lungs hurt from the sharp breaths i inhaled
as i lay curled on my bathroom floor, for the last two hours.
tonight, my eyes burn from the salted crystals that leaked
as i sat, back to the locked door to prevent it from opening.
tonight, my body sighs and shuts down
as i drag my feet when i walked to my computer.
what a lovely almost birthday that never was.
thank you, creators,...
supreme
i sat, swinging my feet on
the courtroom bench
wandering around the room
with my eyes.
click, click, clicking heels
on the cold hard ground,
two unmoving clocks hugged the wall.
a whisper, a murmur, two glances that way!
they stared imploringly,
speaking in their minds
through their eyes
as i wait.
i'm in to rhymes sometimes.
tell a story with your words
and encase me in the sweet fantasy
to rescue me from reality
that sometimes i don’t think i can handle at all.
or is it, actuality that i shy away from?
but anyhow, hook me on to your rhythm
and i’ll try to find my resonance
with that longitudinal frequency.
first a little, then harder
until i become taken
smitten
with the vibrations
that i cant...
branded
my thoughts collide in
a symphony
that i once thought to be
a cacophony:
everything seems
so clear
now that it’s congealed
into a bubbly mass of brains.
i’m hungry for more.
oh, i wonder.
inspiration from deep within my soul
i latch on to that single grain of thought
that manifests
and infects,
resilient.
pound
tonight i sit on my swivel chair
facing the computer,
running my fingers through my hair.
from side to side my eyes flicker
and my mind races to form words
until i cant decide and begin to bicker.
what would i write for today and post tomorrow?
how am i to create my pieces?
surely there is an idea i can borrow?
but no, i sit alone and bathe in my confusion
simmering and seething
until i...
the eighth
fireworks for us tonight
as the whole world looks up
at the majestic light.
for me, its a display of affection
that burst out of my chest,
from my collection.
happy days.
marshmallows
once upon a time i felt a seed of hope
the kind that reaches deep within the well
and pulls me up with the strongest rope.
by and by the strings wore thin
until i was hanging by just a tiny thread,
knowing deep down that i wouldn’t win.
just one more heave and i’ll be out
but the world is so cruel it doesn’t help:
instead, it sends endless doubt.
once upon a time i...
i've lost my voice
i’ve lost my voice to express my thoughts,
i’ve lost my thoughts to fuel my soul.
i’ve lost my soul to keep me sane,
i’ve lost my sanity a while back.
monster, me.
there’s a little thing called jealousy
that brews and brews inside my mind:
it always screams, “me, me, me!”
in the manner most unrefined.
it wouldn’t matter if i knew who i was
it wouldn’t stop even if the world decided to end!
from deep within, i hear the never ending buzz
that fueled a split i could never mend.
