every single second of every day,
every time i pass you in the halls.
eyes lock and i move into your arms.
soft embrace, highlight of my life:
being next to you is like breathing in
pure ecstasy. languid limbs, sluggish
from an overdose of massive addiction.
i need it when i want it. i want it now…
the bell has rung.
bad decisions chase through the dark forest
of life. an endless run through the prickly brambles
that trip me. bare feet on gnarled tree; racing
to the light up above because the darkness
is too scary of a mystery to live in.
at the weakest moment of my life,
the cycle of vulnerable sleep. why
do you plague my mind so, only to
beat me down with your sorrow filled
words. accuse me all you want, but
this is not what i want to do to her.
tell me how your twisted mind works
so i can relieve you of the stupid lies.
tell me how your eyes percieve
so i can rid you of the blindness. they
say ignorance is bliss, but i say that it
is downright annoying. read a book, talk
to people. your limited social skills are
preventing you from obtaining your goal.
i have a new family now. you’re too late
in the running to make a difference. though,
i’d never forget you
as you will me.
your footsteps approach me and
i cant help but wonder what is going on
in that head of yours. what did you
say, over the din of voices? is that
a hurt look in your eye? well, your mistake.
again and again, you’re here. but not really.
accept it now that your life has
gravitated away from me and mine, from
yours. does it really matter who i’m with?
all you’re doing is possessing what isnt
really yours to take. i may not know your
whole back story is, but i hope its not as
stupid as i think it is. honestly, is this the way
you’re going to continue? it makes no sense to me.
but do whatever you feel is right.
i’ll see you someday.
hopefully better
than who you are
today.
or not.
这是爱…就是爱~
oh flow be stemmed by the
silk handkerchief that grows
steadily black by my blood.
seven layers deep, and persistent:
how i sigh in regret. my actions
tarnished be, rusted to the core
and shattered by a mere breath
of wind. of life. last one. before death.
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
N’ayez pas, n’ayez pas, n’ayez pas peur.
C’est la vie, c’est la mort
though i would love to curse you out,
i struggle to find the string of profanities
appropriate for your state of being. i
do not know any adjectives so foul and
fair to describe your presence: your life is
but a walking shadow of doubt, cowering
underneath his twisted despotism. how
could you let yourself sink this low…but
who am i to say how you live your life.
let me tell you one thing. im not a hateful
person, so it isnt my fault if the truth
stabs you in the ribs and gouges out your
eyes. oh, the fantasies i have: beautiful
nightmares! sweet, savory, glistening blood
on my hands…the poison of your soul leaking
out from your veins. satisfying, but not
good enough.
your persistence is admirable,
but your questions are convoluted claims.
to blame it all on me, you fail to see
that you are a part of this as well.
we didnt loose connection as you had
so assumed, but we merely lost the purpose
and the drive to do so. more so, you than i.
so i raise the question,
is it fair?
every few weeks i blurt out a
string of rampaging substance,
all condensed into a short time.
type and queue. queue and type.
until my ideas are tired and overused
and i trickle down into dormancy
until my walls build and run rich with
juicy goodness. warm and flowing,
thicker than water or any of the other
substances that cross my mind. all waiting
for that cramp to set off a warning,
the bloated feeling bursting to escape…
congealed letters drip slowly into words,
into phrases, in to breaths of life…
until conception.
What i feel most moved to write,
that is banned - it will not pay.
Yet, altogether write the other way
i cannot.
silence is my loudest cry
for the attention that never seems
to come my way. to tell you to go
with someone else is a lie
because all i want is you next to me
to hold my hand and tell me that
im not alone. because my worst
fear is being abandoned with nowhere
to turn…isnt everybody afraid of that?
reassurance is what i look for
you beside me is what i need
for you to whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
oh the beautiful nightmares that ensue.
when you decide to run your plague
i will happily oblige and fall into a
cesspool of bliss.
unrequited.
undetermined.
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
shaking pale hand reaches over to
pull out the foreign object lodged
within me. the gasp of relief as it
slides out into the open and leaves
my system. eighty percent corrupted
twenty of something else, all bits mixed
within. abandon le beverage and
reschedule a date for my lesson with
lucifer. unhook me from the system and
the absurdity of it all, taste the silence
feel the sweetness seep in the pores of my
skin, the bag that i live in. most my life.
dialysis.
祝你好运在实现
自己的目标…还有
…继续你的成功 :]
我不知道该怎么说清楚，
但我会永远在你身边~
身…心…
要好好照顾自己!
这是新的一年,
有新的机会提高
你的健康…学习/成绩…
一起做 <3
running back and forth in the maze of life,
welcome to the reality, the actuality, truth.
underestimate the dangers and death be
the consequence. so sit there and rot in your
mahogany coffin polished to bits. as the ants
march up your eye sockets i hope you see
the truth of what youve made others do.
pitchy voice, singing a song way out of
range: why do i do that? to try to hear myself
above the voices. quicksand is hard to
get out of: as the sand gets under
the nails and into the ears, shake it off
and keep going.
odd numbers scare me
because there would be just one
left alone. waiting forever
for the one to come but never does.
funny thing about it all is that
its in plain sight: the question, the longing.
its not all bad, you know, because
i’d be able to fix it. enigmas are a
brain teaser but i enjoy both all the same.
the problem is that its constant.
quite frankly. im tired of it.
Through the monochrome dark of the night sky,
Riddled with punctures of light from above,
A flash of red has caught my eye: one out of a million.
Enraptured souls, captivated by the streak of a
Happy accident, I step forth into a realm of unknowing
Future with a sense of déjà vu. The stairs to beyond
Descend for me to climb to gaze at the world behind
Her shoulder, us, together, intertwined. Under the dome
Of the vast expanse, the pale moonbeams kiss my eyes
And lay me to sleep. Carry me through a greying meadow:
A single flower is all I seek, a crimson splendour to grace
My cheek with dewdrops so sweet and fragrant. Lingering
Smudges of black dot my world, but my eyes look only
At the scarlet fire, my flame to keep me warm when the
Skies open to flurries of patterned crystalline diamonds.
Scattered jewels that spiral downwards are no match for
The single ruby that lands on my tongue. Exhale, vaporise
the other particles into oblivion with my heated breath to
taste the sugary treat of the wine-coloured stone. Intoxicated,
I stumble and fall onto the bed of snow, arms outstretched
And flailing languidly: attempting to fly. Of the birds that
Crowd my path, the red breasted robin outshines the pigeon.
Down the street to the ice cream parlour, walking on the old
Stone path the bird leads me to a brain freeze.
The metallic spoon that scoops up creamy vanilla ice cream
Holds a cherry delight: sweet and tart, just enough for me to
Pucker my lips. Slight dimples form at the corner of my mouth,
Little indents of pleasure: a crinkle in my eyes, as I gaze
In joy at the flare of colour in the dull streets of the world.
My world.
now im running and screaming
on numb legs away from it all.
it feels like a lie, its all just so
fuzzy. what will i have to do to
be a man…stand and fight years
of war just to get back to square
one. look down at my bloodstained
hands, no water can wash away the
stench.
oh, pickles.
